Carl Weathers NFL Power Rankings — Pre-Season
Carl Weathers, master thespian and former Oakland Raider, watches every NFL game from his man cave to compile his weekly Power Rankings exclusively for Heckler readers. Mr. Weathers, despite playing only eight NFL games, was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1980.
Goodell to receive ‘fair’ appeal hearing from same judge that ruled against him
“I was beside myself when I learned I would be hearing the appeal,” Judge Berman remarked. “And, when I say ‘beside myself,’ I mean that person beside me will have a tough task of either agreeing with his original decision or the person he just ruled against. It’s hard to say which way it will go.”
Juice scandal rocks Little League World Series
The sports world was rocked today by the revelation that a majority of the Little League World Series players in the championship game tested positive for juice. “We’re stunned,” said LLWS executive director Greg Anderson. “This is not part of our core values.”
Arrieta no-hitter ‘best day ever’ for guy who sells mustache onesie
"I never even heard of this guy, but what he's doing for the mustache apparel industry is unheralded," said O'Leary. "And when I saw a pitcher of Arrieta, he doesn't even have a mustache!"
Delusional Bears fan thinks Jordy Nelson injury improve Chicago’s chances
Just a day after Packers All-Pro WR Jordy Nelson went down with an ACL tear, delusional Bears fan Steven Dietrich has been thrilled at what he's considering a "big break" that will dramatically improve Chicago's chances in the NFC North.
After hiring of Toni Kukoc, Scottie Pippen sits out last 1.8 seconds of Bulls...
Former teammate Scottie Pippen, who has been in a similar role with the team since 2012, was none too happy to hear of Kukoc’s hiring. As a form of protest, Pippen sat out the last 1.8 seconds of the team’s regular Monday morning staff meeting at the United Center.
Suspended Brady: ‘My life still way better than yours’
Despite the hard line approach to punishment taken by the NFL, Brady released a statement assuring his fans as well as his detractors, that, "Although I may not be able to play the game I love for four weeks, I assure you that my life is still way better than yours."
