MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred accepted defeat Thursday as the owners and players reached a tentative agreement to end the owners’ lockout.
“I did my best to kill the game,” said Manfred, “but ultimately I fell short of ending it forever.”
Manfred said he was secretly hoping the lockout would continue indefinitely mainly because it meant he didn’t have to attend any games in person.
“I have to admit, at my age going to games is just kind of a drag,” said Manfred. “There’s the whole thing with battling traffic to get to the game. Then you’re there and you’ve got to get to your seat and just sit there through hours and hours of dead time for only about 15 minutes of actual action. And I can’t imagine what it must be like for people who don’t get all this stuff for free like I do. And each team does that 162 times! Can you imagine?”
Added Manfred: “It’s all just kind of a drag, frankly.”