Corey Patterson goes 0-for-5 with 5 K’s on honeymoon
“I just couldn’t get any good wood on the ball,” lamented Patterson. “Any wood at all for that matter.”
Bill Belichick to unveil exciting new cheating methods for Super Bowl
"Oh, if you thought that the deflated balls were something, you ain't seen nothing yet," an unusually eager Belichick told reporters. "Like, and I'm just spitballing here, you know how receivers wear gloves? I know the guy that supplies the gloves. I could try filling the Seahawks' gloves with nicotine patches."
Belichick fires ball boy for failing to deflate 1 of 12 balls
ESPN reported Tuesday night that 11 of the Patriots' 12 balls were deflated for Sunday's AFC Championship against the Colts, which has Bill Belichick in a tizzy. The surly New England coach promptly fired...
All scoring and non-scoring plays to be automatically reviewed during Super Bowl
"In addition to getting every call right, it will also provide much-needed stoppage time for players to rest, advertisers to advertise and fans to get snacks or use the restroom," said Goodell. "Everybody wins. Plus, we can now bill the Super Bowl as a two-day event, which is sure to excite people. If four hours of football is good, then 36 hours is better, right?"
Patriots and Seahawks a ‘dream match-up,’ says NFL’s most obnoxious fan
Greerson, who also is known for going into work on Mondays saying, "Cheer up everyone, we got a whole week ahead of us!" said that he likes the Seahawks "because they won last year, and Pete Carroll seems like a guy I'd like to get a beer with," but added that "Bill Belichick is probably my favorite coach out there, and that Tom Brady sure is handsome!"
Air transferred out of footballs used to further inflate Belichick’s ego
"You may be wondering if we purposefully deflated our balls and the answer is 'Yes'," admitted a smug and unapologetic Belichick. "Sure, we had home field advantage and a better all-around team, but is that ever enough to stick it to your opponent?"
Family intercepts Packers fan who’d already begun trip to Super Bowl on tractor
"My tractor's a beauty, but it doesn't have any heat," said Schultz. "About 30 minutes into the ride I had to stop at Shopko to pick up a new pair of Oshkosh B'Gosh overalls to help stay warm for the long drive to Phoenix. That's where my family found me and broke the terrible news."
