After Scott Foster, the 36-year-old Oak Park accountant who had never played in the NHL, came into last Thursday's game as an emergency goalie for a rare Blackhawks win, Joel Quenneville has announced the team's decision to make some drastic changes at goal.
Multiple reports say Tebow has made over 50 phone calls, during which he asks how the Bears are doing before saying, "Oh that's cool, I'm good too. You know, I was just doing some push-ups to keep my arms nice and strong. I can throw a football real far still. You know, if that's something you might be interested in."
Shortly after throwing an interception in the waning minutes of Sunday's 22-16 loss to the New York Giants, Bears quarterback Jay Cutler was seen just outside the locker room, smashing the shoulder he injured in that final play in the hopes of being forced out of the lineup with a season-ending injury.
A bartender at John Barleycorn in Wrigleyville was fired today after trying to make World Series winning Cubs Manager Joe Maddon pay his own bartab.
"I believe the best team in the league right now are the Braves, I think that Augie Ojeda is the best baseball player of all time, and Joey Fatone was the best member of NSYNC. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it."
"Listen, think about it, [2015 2nd round NBA pick] Pat Connaughton is a monster on the boards, and [#19 overall pick in the 2015 NBA Draft Jerian] Grant's just the kind of player to put us ahead of the rest of the field. Just ask around, everyone knows that this year is the best crop of players we've had in a long time."
While initially criticized for his seemingly inauthentic marketing plug, it appears that Manning was actually not only serious about drinking a lot of Budweisers to celebrate, but had decided to go on a full, several day long binge where he drank nothing but Budweiser.