Controversy swirled following this week’s AFC championship game as the Patriots were accused of deflating game balls to gain an inherent advantage. Patriots Head Coach – and perennial rule bender – Bill Belichick (a.k.a. Beli-cheat, in some circles) met the media today to clear up any and all confusion.

“You may be wondering if we purposefully deflated our balls and the answer is ‘Yes’,” admitted a smug and unapologetic Belichick. “Sure, we had home field advantage and a better all-around team, but is that ever enough to stick it to your opponent?”

Now heading to the Super Bowl, fans and critics alike wonder what is next up Belichick’s sleeve. Tamper with Marshawn Lynch’s jock strap? Kick Richard Sherman in the shins? While Belichick never tips his hand to his opponent, his sentiments did include some awkward praise.

“We fortunately have two full weeks to work up a [devious] game plan and I have a ton of respect for my counterpart,” Belichick stated. “Just look at all Pete Carroll has accomplished. I mean, the mess he left at USC was a work of art that only of coach of my caliber can appreciate.”

Heckler Brian