Sunday, June 26, 2022

‘Severely depressed’ Cubs top draft choice pitches hissy-fit after pick

Shouting for his mommy and mumbling “Padres, please, Padres,” the 6-foot-5 third-baseman from the University of San Diego was given a timeout by his dad. Bryant was then put into a strait-jacket and carted off to a local hospital for observation.

Torre suspends himself for WBC managerial miscues

Major League Baseball’s Executive Vice President of Baseball Operations Joe Torre suspended himself indefinitely for “committing egregious acts of managerial malaise” while managing Team USA in the World Baseball Classic.

Animated GIF: Corey Crawford flashes the leather!

Blackhawks goalie Corey Crawford gloves one at point blank range against the Ducks

Lovie Smith anxiously awaiting chance to join FOX’s NFL Pregame crew

"I think I'd be a great addition to the team," Smith morosely told reporters. "I mean, I can picture it now. Curt, Mike, Howie, Terry, Jimmy, and myself. All cracking jokes. Jokes about football. Oh, how they would laugh."

The World’s Most Honest Sports Team Logos, Part 2

Team names are fun, but they don't always accurately reflect a franchise's players and fans. Here at The Heckler, we've created a few alternate names and logos that are more descriptive of the teams they represent.

Report: Dempster must pass physical comedy before any trade is finalized

"Dempster is brilliant when it comes to pitching," said Cubs President Theo Epstein, "but he really needs to work on his practical jokes. He's been dry for sometime now."

Kane denies passing out at Madison bar: ‘I’m not some candy-ass’

"As you can tell from the photos, I was partying my balls off all day and got a little tired," said Kane, "but I wasn't passed out. I was just taking a quick nap. I'm not some candy-ass who can't handle his booze or something."