Monday, August 8, 2022

Goodell asks NFL Players Union to take soccer style names

Some players have hired public relations firms to find names for them. Among monikers floated to the media are "Omaha," for Peyton Manning. Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski will be called "Boinggggg!"

World Cup fans from Wisconsin shocked to learn Mexico, Brazil and Costa Rica separate...

World Cup Soccer fans throughout Wisconsin were thrown into a state of total disarray today when it was discovered that Mexico, Brazil and Costa Rica were actually separate countries all competing for the FIFA World Cup trophy. There was further shock and awe throughout the dairy state upon learning that Columbia, Argentina, and Uruguay were also not Mexico.

American soccer superfan actually knows the names of three players on national team

When media sources reached out to Chicago's Donald Winters regarding his impressive knowledge, he stated, "You bet I can name three players. There's the goalie Tim Howard, though they call it 'goalkeeper' outside of the states, Clint Dempsey, who everyone knows, and of course, Beasley. Michael Beasley? No, that's the basketball player. DeMarcus Beasley, that's right. So, yeah, I can name them all."

U.S. Men’s World Cup team on pace to win more games than Jeff Samardzija

With their victory over Ghana in the first round of the World Cup, the United States men’s soccer team is just one game shy of equaling the two wins Cubs pitcher Jeff Samardzija has so far this season.

U.S. Soccer officials determine fielding team of best American players will result in entire...

U.S Soccer officials today announced the team which will represent the United States in the World Cup competition. In a unexpected twist, the team will consist entirely of girls ages 7 to 9.

Brazilian government promises ‘prostitutes will be ready on time’

With the eyes of the world upon them, the people of Brazil can proudly tell the 600,000+ spectators and the billion fans watching the World Cup that if you come to Brazil, there are more than enough hookers, street-walkers and paid escorts to help you enjoy your stay.

World Cup teams unite, impose ‘No Canadian Celebrity Bandwagoners’ rule

“We have to be more careful about which celebrity so-called ‘fans’ we let into our cheering sections,” said U.S. goalie Tim Howard. “The bandwagon is only big enough to support serious fans who want to get into soccer, our teams, and our countries. However, we must draw the line at these celebrity frontrunners.”