Thursday, March 28, 2024

Buffalo Bills sign future Hall of Famer Mitch Trubisky

"We are very excited to add Mitch to our roster," said Bills GM Brandon Beane. "Any time you can go out and get a guy who's bound for Canton, you do it."

Report: Lazy Rodgers ‘just chilled’ in a State Farm office for past two weeks

“I saw that Rodgers guy at the State Farm office every day,” said some guy with a New Jersey accent and a Cheesehead foam hat. “I'm unemployed and wander around drunk all day in case someone happens to be shooting a commercial I can walk in on. And every time I walked past the window there was Rodgers, just hanging out.”

’72 Dolphins will recognize Blackhawks’ undefeated start minus any wins over Columbus

"We love what the Blackhawks are doing," said former running back Larry Csonka, who is a spokesman for the only Super Bowl-era team to finish a full season undefeated. "We will recognize their accomplishment with one rule--we are not going to count any more games against Columbus."

’85 Bears reunite at White House to record new opening for MNF

President Obama has invited the Super Bowl XX championship Bears to the White House after their original visit was postponed in 1986 and never rescheduled. While there, ESPN has convinced them to reunite the ‘Shufflin' Crew’ to record a new opening for MNF.

‘Hey, rememeber that time Rob Gronkowski posed with that porn star?’ A mustached Rob...

While this year's Super Bowl Media Day passed with relatively few surprises, there were a few uncomfortable moments when New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski donned a fake mustache and proceeded to ask numerous news sources and members of the team if they "remembered that time" that Rob Gronkowski caused a stir by posing, shirtless, in a picture with porn star Bibi Jones.

‘Hopelessly tacky’ Prater gets starring role in next ‘Reno 911!’ movie

Broncos kicker Matt Prater has parlayed his on-the-field success and tacky appearance into a potential acting career after 20th Century Fox today announced he will have a starring role in the next movie installment of "Reno 911!"

‘I bet the Packers are going to tank just to screw the Bears!’ says...

"The one time I find myself rooting for Green Bay, I know they're going to tank against the Vikings Sunday just to screw the Bears," said Emmert, blissfully ignorant to the fact that a Packers win in Minneapolis solidifies a first-round bye for Green Bay.