ESPN might have solved their Monday Night Football opening problem thanks to the man Hank Williams Jr. insulted. President Obama has invited the Super Bowl XX championship Bears to the White House after their original visit was postponed in 1986 and never rescheduled. While there, ESPN has convinced them to reunite the ‘Shufflin’ Crew’ to record a new opening for MNF.

“We’ve gotten the band back together,” said ESPN VP of Production Enhancements, Bob Toms. “We got drummer Stefan Humphries, keyboardist Tyrone Keys, guitarist Mike Tomczak, saxophonist Calvin Thomas and even cowbellist Maury Buford.”

“The musicians were easy. Buford couldn’t wait to give more cowbell,” Toms said. “Finding singers was a bit more difficult. Walter has passed, Richard Dent wants a huge payday now that he’s in the Hall of Fame, and William Perry is having medical issues, so we had to make some changes.”

Backup QB Steve Fuller was definitely on board, however.

“ESPN got Ditka to sing!” he squealed. “President Obama is joining in, and we got the big guy who played Finch from ‘Wildcats’. It’ll be just like old times!”

Chicago Vince