When news officially broke that the 2020 Tokyo games were being postponed a year, athletes around the world pushed back tears, but not necessarily for the reasons you might think.
“I identify more as a Simone. That name is just gold right now,” Lochte shared. “I’m also thinking I'd be pretty rad at weightlifting or gymnastics.”
“After my last concussion, the speech therapist had me pronouncing the words, ‘Sami,' 'Kimmo' and 'Lasse,'” American left winger Max Pacioretty said. “Little did I know guys with those names would be kicking my ass up and down Main Street.”
“I see where the Cubs are going with this,” International Olympics Committee Chairman Marcus Lantham said upon reviewing the Cubs application. “No one can lose in ways so devastating to their fans and at exactly the worst of moments as the Cubs can.”
“The thing is, in biathlon, with such a small caliber bullet, you have to really compensate for the wind rattling it around. As you can imagine, even for the strongest women with the most toned hindquarters, that level of concentration needed is tough to maintain after skiing for several kilometers at a world-class speed.”