Monday, November 30, 2020

Olympians disappointed they have to wait another year to have sex with the other...

When news officially broke that the 2020 Tokyo games were being postponed a year, athletes around the world pushed back tears, but not necessarily for the reasons you might think.

The Heckler Recalls: Andres Nocioni

Began professional career in the Argentine basketball league in 1995 at the age of 16. Voted the league’s Best Sixth Man in 1998-99. Voted Spanish league MVP in 2004. Won Olympic gold and bronze medals with Argentina in 2004 and 2008, respectively.

Ryan Lochte changes name to Simone, sets sights on Tokyo

“I identify more as a Simone. That name is just gold right now,” Lochte shared. “I’m also thinking I'd be pretty rad at weightlifting or gymnastics.”

Sochi 2014: What did we learn?

Believe it or not, a Winter Olympics just happened in Sochi, Russia. The valiant souls who attempted to live there for a couple weeks were treated to ideal (spring) weather, living conditions that could...

U.S. men’s hockey team really embarrassed by losing to guys named Olli, Teemu and...

“After my last concussion, the speech therapist had me pronouncing the words, ‘Sami,' 'Kimmo' and 'Lasse,'” American left winger Max Pacioretty said. “Little did I know guys with those names would be kicking my ass up and down Main Street.”

Cubs to take up hockey in 2018 Olympics

“I see where the Cubs are going with this,” International Olympics Committee Chairman Marcus Lantham said upon reviewing the Cubs application. “No one can lose in ways so devastating to their fans and at exactly the worst of moments as the Cubs can.”

Weird coworker knows way too much about women’s biathlon

“The thing is, in biathlon, with such a small caliber bullet, you have to really compensate for the wind rattling it around. As you can imagine, even for the strongest women with the most toned hindquarters, that level of concentration needed is tough to maintain after skiing for several kilometers at a world-class speed.”