In the wake of late, disheartening losses sustained by both the U.S. men’s and women’s hockey teams in the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, the Chicago Cubs have submitted an application to play hockey in the 2018 Olympics.

“I see where the Cubs are going with this,” International Olympics Committee Chairman Marcus Lantham said upon reviewing the Cubs application. “No one can lose in ways so devastating to their fans and at exactly the worst of moments as the Cubs can.”

Accordingly, Lantham said the U.S. Olympics teams in 2018 will consist of the men’s, women’s and Cubs hockey teams.

Lantham said that based on the manner in which the Cubs swing the bats, their stick-handling could be their foil in the 2018 Olympics. Still, Lantham issued a caveat.

“There’s no guarantee that the Cubs will tank in U.S. Cubs hockey in 2018,” he said. “I’ve seen many of their baseball games. The Cubs know how to skate.”

By Rob Christiansen