As the winter Olympics wind down to a finish, employees at a Naperville office building have increasingly noticed that Donnie Czajka, the weird coworker who works in the mail room, knows far more about the Women’s Biathlon event than he would have any reason to. Czajka’s eerily intense focus on the female division of this particular sport, which combines cross country skiing and rifle shooting, first became apparent when he began putting up posters of Darya Domracheva, the Belarusian biathlete who would go on to win three gold medals in the Sochi Olympics. From there, it only became more intensive and uncomfortable for his fellow workers.

Czajka, who is widely considered a “creepy loner” by many he works with, has spent the last week interrupting water cooler conversations with informative yet off putting statements such as, “[Norwegian biathlete] Tora Berger has really been under-performing at Sochi, considering her performance in the 2013 Nové Město world championship” and “The thing is, in biathlon, with such a small caliber bullet, you have to really compensate for the wind rattling it around. As you can imagine, even for the strongest women with the most toned hindquarters, that level of concentration needed is tough to maintain after skiing for several kilometers at a world-class speed.”

While many have expressed their discomfort with Czajka’s extremely focused infatuation with the women’s biathlon event, they all admitted it was far less uncomfortable than the 2012 London summer Olympics, when he spent two weeks demonstrating his encyclopedic knowledge of synchronized swimming techniques.

By Jeff GoodSmith

Jeff GoodSmith