As if losing to Finland in the bronze medal game in a shutout isn’t embarrassing enough, the U.S. men’s hockey team was even more embarrassed because they lost to a team with guys whose names read like cast of characters from a Discovery Channel documentary.

“After my last concussion, the speech therapist had me pronouncing the words, ‘Sami,’ ‘Kimmo’ and ‘Lasse,’” American left winger Max Pacioretty said. “Little did I know guys with those names would be kicking my ass up and down Main Street.”

Forward Patrick Kane was a bit pragmatic. “I guess it’s better than losing to, like, Lithuania,” the Blackhawks player said. “Imagine getting thrashed by a fourth line named Dovydas, Vytautus or Midnaugas?”