Idiots

“'Paul to the Clippers'?” asked a UCLA student. “I think I saw on IMDB that's Quentin Tarantino's new flick about strippers in New Mexico who seek revenge against the corrupt school boards.”

When the trade of Carlos Zambrano from the Cubs to the Miami Marlins was announced on Wednesday, passions flared from fan to foe to media. One particular Miami columnist, however, went on a tirade for the ages that sent many local readers into a panic.

After Billy Cundiff missed a 32-yard game-tying field goal, belligerent Ravens fan Walt Gumperson stormed out of Sam's Tavern in east Baltimore screaming of repercussions for the blown game.

The crowd of thousands who clambered for a first look at the new landmark looked on dumbfounded as officials spoke of Manning's great victories over Mario Andretti and the New England Patriots. After 20 minutes, an aide of the Mayor told him that Eli Manning had been the quarterback in the Giants victory over New England.

Spring is just around the corner and for millions of fathers across the country, that can mean only one thing -- time to begin mixed martial arts training for spring youth soccer.

Donald Trump has decided to cash in on the recent success of Knicks point guard Jeremy Lin. At a Trump Towers press conference Wednesday, Trump announced his intentions for a new television series called "The Lintern."

Due to low expectations for both the Cubs and White Sox, interest in Chicago's cross-town rivalry has dwindled to mostly bleacher bums, toothless Bridgeport residents and kids under 12, but findings of a scientific study released Monday has linked a person's interest in the Cubs-Sox rivalry to low IQ.