Due to low expectations for both the Cubs and White Sox, interest in Chicago’s cross-town rivalry has dwindled to mostly bleacher bums, toothless Bridgeport residents and kids under 12, but findings of a scientific study released Monday has linked a person’s interest in the Cubs-Sox rivalry to low IQ.
Scientists at Northwestern University studied a group of 200 Chicagoans, ranging in age from 21 to 40, who actually believe that the Crosstown Classic means something in the standings.
The revelations were startling. They found that of those residents, all of them scored lower than 90 on their IQ tests, owned jersey T-shirts of players like Aaron Rowand, Ryan Theriot, Scott Podsednik and Matt Murton, and can explain the 2006 Pierzynski-Barrett tilt in vivid detail, though always having a different winner.
Prospect Heights resident, and case study, Kurt Maes was questioned afterward.
“They asked me all types of fancy things like math and learning.” said Maes “I just told them who cares! The only thing math tells me is how many times we beat the stupid Cubs in the 2005 World Series!”