Sport

Play and/or drink along as the Chicago Bears take on the St. Louis Rams in a game sure to be dominated by stout defense, bad penalties and shots of the "world famous" Arch.

While acknowledging the lack of a loss came primarily because the team did not get a chance to play a game, Franklin told reporters that "it's a step in the right direction" and that the team is going to "really give it their all next week, I can feel it."

Following performances that were strong at the plate but shaky-at-best in the outfield, Cubs rookies Jorge Soler and Kyle Schwarber have committed to spend the entire off-season practicing together by taking turns crushing towering fly balls to the other who will do his best to catch them without incident.

"Our customer service team is completely overwhelmed this morning by phone calls from travelers looking to cancel flights to Chicago next weekend," said Southwest CEO Gary Kelly. "And the calls are taking longer than normal because the customers are all sobbing uncontrollably."

Franklin, who grew up in Chicago and moved to New York for college a few years after the Cubs 2003 NLCS collapse, has been concerning his friends during the past few days, according to various sources.

“My favorite one to call is the high and tight fastball strike right under the batter’s chin,” said Rob Drake, who unceremoniously called balls and strikes during NLCS Game 1 on Saturday. “Not only do they start their at-bat 0-1, but they usually fall flat on their asses, which is pretty damn hilarious to watch.”

"Apparently my wife committed us to some birthday dinner that night," said Winters. "I was hoping it would be at a sports bar or something but it's at a fancy place without TVs or anything."