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A convincing Aaron Burr nearly challenged Fox to a duel after directing harsh words to the coach about the Bears' losing season. He said he spoke for all fans by saying he felt "anxious that [Fox] will not uphold the city's rights to a valued team."

Multiple reports say Tebow has made over 50 phone calls, during which he asks how the Bears are doing before saying, "Oh that's cool, I'm good too. You know, I was just doing some push-ups to keep my arms nice and strong. I can throw a football real far still. You know, if that's something you might be interested in."

President-elect Donald Trump followed through with his campaign promise of deportation on Monday night by barring the Oakland Raiders and Houston Texans from returning to the U.S. following their game in Mexico City.

“This is my team,” screamed Butler according to sources. “I’m carving the damn turkey! I was here when it was just me, Tony Snell and Cam Bairstow eating sad green bean casserole and the weird Spanish ham that Pau brought. I’ve earned my place.”

Shortly after throwing an interception in the waning minutes of Sunday's 22-16 loss to the New York Giants, Bears quarterback Jay Cutler was seen just outside the locker room, smashing the shoulder he injured in that final play in the hopes of being forced out of the lineup with a season-ending injury.

Fans have also been floating around one-liners about Freeman just taking the drugs to get out of playing for this awful team a few weeks. Some have even suggested coach John Fox should take some PED’s as well, either to improve his coaching or so he too can enjoy a break from the team.

As the Chicago Bears endure another tough season and the Cubs celebrate a historic one, we’ve decided it’s time to look back. To the future, you say? No, weirdo. To the colorful past and all the Chicago athletes who have graced our fields of play, from the great to the merely memorable.