NFL

"While we all wish Manning a speedy recovery from what must be a very painful neck injury, fantasy owners who have Manning on their team need to know how to deal with their own pain in the neck," said Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football Reporter Cody Findlay.

When the Ohio State Buckeyes meet the Miami Hurricanes on Sept. 17 there will be much more at stake than just a football game. In an out-of-character move, the NCAA announced the winner of this match-up of corrupt programs will be awarded immunity from any pending sanctions for off-field impropriety. The loser will become the first school since SMU in 1987 to receive the “death penalty.”

After receiving the second $100 million contract of his career, Philadelphia Eagles QB Michael Vick celebrated by spending a night on the town, where he attending an especially atrocious display of cockfighting in the back room of a Philadelphia warehouse.

"I would proceed with caution both when approaching a most likely intoxicated Benson in an Austin bar and when considering drafting him for my fantasy league," said Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football Reporter Cody Findlay. "He's a bit of a wild card, both drunk and sober."

“I realize we’re eating a lot of salary with these moves, but let’s face it, all three phases have been stinking up the joint,” said GM Jerry Angelo. “We’ve had our eye on Fudwanker since Junior Peewee ball, and he brings a lot to the table.”

"I'm excited to welcome Shannon and Cris to our team and we expect them to become instant playmakers due to the fact that we had no decent receivers or tight ends other than Hakeem Nicks," said coach Tom Coughlin. "Since losing Steve and Kevin, our receiving corps looked pathetic"

Tom Brady felt he had little to worry about after the NFL Network forecasted his 2011 outlook as “strong” simply for nurturing his punishing good looks during the offseason.