As the Colts deal with rumors that Peyton Manning may be lost for the season due to a potentially crippling neck injury, fantasy owners with Manning on their team are dealing with something even more painful: What to do if Manning can’t “man-up” and get on the field in time for Sunday’s opener against the Texans.

“While we all wish Manning a speedy recovery from what must be a very painful neck injury, fantasy owners who have him on their team need to know how to deal with their own pain in the neck,” said Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football Reporter Cody Findlay. “It’s time for the Colts to come clean on Manning’s injury so fantasy owners everywhere can start the season on the right foot.”

Findlay said that he’s watching Colts owner Jim Irsay’s often-updated but barely comprehensible Twitter account nonstop for any sort of lead.

“Yesterday Irsay posted something about having to put his good buddy down for the season, so I was about to advise all my readers to pick up Manning’s backup Kerry Collins,” said Findlay. “But it turned out Irsay was just talking about putting his favorite Ferrari in storage for the winter. Posting that column would have been a real tragedy for my career … even worse than this neck injury could be for Manning’s.”

hecklerstaff