Monday, August 8, 2022

Schaumburg man orders McCown jersey online after upset victory

"McCown was awesome," Greenblatt gushed. "I mean, Forte was also awesome, and so was that offensive line, but McCown, man, he was something else. Our backup guy was so much better than the Packers backup guy."

ESPN awarded ESPY for ‘Most Awesome, Unbiased Sportscasting’

"I'd just like to say thank you to all of the fans of ESPN out there who keep watching us week in and week out to hear the exact same catchphrases, jokes, and my stupid nicknames!" said Chris Berman.

2014 MLB All-Star Game to feature ‘Groundout-To-First-Derby’

League officials were said to be initially skeptical of the new competition, but they were convinced after watching hours of taped "highlights" of recent Cubs, Astros and Mariners games.

NHL salary cap lowered to $9.50 per hour

Players will also be responsible for providing their own equipment and a car-pool program has been set up for traveling to games. It is not yet known if drivers will receive an allowance for gas money.

Fed up with Wrigley restrictions, Ricketts to move Cubs to international waters

"In 2014, the Cubs will play all home games on a floating entertainment complex approximately 200 miles off the coast of Virginia," said Ricketts.

Rooftop owners agree that backs of upscale Jumbotrons as interesting as Cubs baseball

You may not think seagull poop on a Jumbotron can be the focal point of your party,” said Zybachowski. “I tell ya, buddy, you haven’t seen seagull poop on the right Jumbotron.”

NHL to play during halftime of NBA games

“Most owners like the deal because stadiums will already be full. Players like it because they get paid to do one-third of the work,” said mediator Ron Carter. “And Commissioner Bettman is ecstatic because it abolishes all Canadian teams except for one.”