Inspired by Jeter, Kane reveals slumpbuster goody bag
Kane revealed that his trip to Yankees shortstop's hometown inspired him to follow in Jeter's footsteps. He's now sending his one-night stands gift bags filled with team memorabilia.
Campana Convention 2014 organized by disillusioned fans of former Cubs speedster
“Tony is the future of baseball,” said convention organizer Evan Berman. “Running, sprinting, sliding -- all the tools are there. Our convention will celebrate his ability to be super-focused at the expense of literally everything else.”
Putin rescinds controversial gay propaganda laws after meeting Patrick Sharp
“We may have made a mistake,” said Putin. “What person would not want to grab this man by his face and kiss both cheeks more times than normal social etiquette would call for?”
Paul George plays entire game without impregnating stripper or taking pics of his junk
Pacers guard/forward Paul George managed to play a complete game Monday night against the Bulls without taking a single photo of his genitals or impregnating a stripper. Both exercises in self control represent a season-high for the young star.
Kristin Cavallari awarded honorary doctorate by Barnum and Bailey Clown College
“We are awarding Kristin this degree for her ability to play the faux-brainiac,” said college director Bobo the Hobo. “The depth of her make-believe knowledge is unmatched. She has pretended to read many comically oversized books.”
NBA fans shocked at total hotness of Donald Sterling’s girlfriend
"I know Donald Sterling is a racist and a horrible human being," said Musberger . "With that said, the awesomeness of his super-smokin’ hot girlfriend must not go ignored.
Michael Sam expected to become first openly gay NFL player to cheat on his...
Sam, the first openly gay player ever drafted, is expected to find somebody else during the first month of the season between divisional road games against either Arizona and Seattle.
