Kristin Cavallari – “American television personality” and wife of Bears QB Jay Cutler – made rounds last week defending her public decision not to immunize their one-year-old son. Despite the criticism, one group lauded Cavallari: the fine folks of Barnum and Bailey Clown College, who have announced plans to present her with an honorary doctorate degree.
“We are awarding Kristin this degree for her ability to play the faux-brainiac,” said college director Bobo the Hobo. “The depth of her make-believe knowledge is unmatched. She has pretended to read many comically oversized books.”
Cavallari is not the only one who has received an honorary degree from the school. Shia LeBeouf took home the honor last year after qualifying in the rare category of “being that kind of European, sad clown who nobody can tell is serious or still joking.”
If you’re wondering how to refer to Cavallari, there will be an M.D. after her name. In this case it stands for “Mirth Doctor.”
“I’m so honored,” said Cavallari. “I’ve read great things about where this degree can take me.”