Adrian Peterson adds Vikings, taxes to list of things he doesn’t believe in
“Vikings? Really? I mean, you ever seen a guy with horns on his head?” said Peterson. “Seems crazy to me. Don’t believe in it. And taxes. Taxes, too. But that’s because it’s against my religious beliefs, or something.”
Justin Bieber placed on suicide watch after Heat, Kings lose
Nobody took the near-simultaneous losses harder than Heat/Kings diehard fan Justin Bieber.
Blackhawks sign veteran forward Jason Voorhees to bolster physical game
“This guy has been everywhere, he’s got guts and skates with unbelievable power,” said Bowman. “Are we concerned that he has also taken the most slashing penalties in the league by far? A bit. But you can’t help but root for the guy. They mostly deserved it.”
Putin rescinds controversial gay propaganda laws after meeting Patrick Sharp
“We may have made a mistake,” said Putin. “What person would not want to grab this man by his face and kiss both cheeks more times than normal social etiquette would call for?”
NBA fans shocked at total hotness of Donald Sterling’s girlfriend
"I know Donald Sterling is a racist and a horrible human being," said Musberger . "With that said, the awesomeness of his super-smokin’ hot girlfriend must not go ignored.
Sterling ban proves it’s not okay to say racist things while being illegally taped
Clippers owner Donald Sterling was banned from the NBA for life and fined $2.5 million by Commissioner Adam Silver today, who stressed what he called the most valuable takeaway from this shameful episode.
