Being a fan of Mets, Jets or Nets causes erectile dysfunction, study reveals
"This study comes as a surprise to no one," claimed Regina Benjamin, U.S. Surgeon General. "Mets fans have mostly been unable to achieve an erection since 1986, while many living Jets fans cannot become aroused even mentally."
Cubs realize Marmol a problem just two short years after you did
"I know you've been saying this for years," said Sveum, referring to you as you sat on your couch cursing the TV. "But maybe it's time we consider someone else in the ninth."
Blackhawks play Duck Hunt to mentally prepare to face Anaheim in playoffs
"This team needs to learn that Ducks are weak animals that can be easily dominated," said Quenneville. "I put these games in the locker room so we can gain some confidence heading into the playoffs by blasting animated ducks over and over again."
Darwin Barney fires agent to sign with Vanilla Ice
"It suddenly seems like if you want to be an elite second baseman in this league you need to have a famous rapper repping you," said Barney. "I'm not elite yet, but Ice promised me that with his fire power I'll be making it huge someday soon."
Trestman vows to have Bears playbook finished by Week 6
Marc Trestman is known for being an offensive genius from the Canadian Football League with a haircut rivaling LeBron James for best sports haircut, but what few people don't know is that he still hasn't finished the Bears playbook for next season.
Kane meets newest girlfriend on ChristianMingle.com
"I never thought of embracing Jesus Christ as the one true savior, but then I stumbled on Christian Mingle," said Kane.
Animated GIF: Carlos Boozer punched a ref in the junk this weekend
Carlos isn't going down Amnesty Avenue without a fight. Here he is taking his midlife crisis out on poor ref Danny Crawford Saturday in Dallas.
