The Chicago Blackhawks have been running roughshod over their Western Conference opponents throughout the 2013 season — except for the Anaheim Ducks, that is. Of the Blackhawks combined eight losses in regulation and overtime, the pesky Ducks have contributed three of them. The very real possibility of a Hawks-Ducks playoff showdown caused coach Joel Quenneville to look for unorthodox methods to regain his team’s mental edge over the quackers from the West Coast.
Quenneville scoured thrift stores in the Chicagoland area and purchased several Nintendo Entertainment Systems, complete with the classic game Duck Hunt and the light gun used to play it.
“This team needs to learn that Ducks are weak animals that can be easily dominated,” stated the mustachioed coach. “I put these games in the locker room so we can gain some confidence heading into the playoffs by blasting animated ducks over and over again. The guys have really taken to it. Toews has the high score so far and he even figured out how to shoot the annoying dog that laughs when you miss!”
Blackhawks players have been spotted playing Duck Hunt before and after games, and even during 1st and 2nd intermission. 20-year-old rookie Brandon Saad hasn’t taken to the primitive gaming system, however.
“I don’t see what’s so great about this thing,” Saad claimed. “When I was a kid I had a Nintendo 64, so anything older than that is total crap. You have to blow the dust out of the NES game cartridges just to get them to work! How stupid.”
Winger Patrick Kane has a far different perspective, though. “My favorite thing to do now is get hammered and play some Duck Hunt in my underwear,” Kane shared. “Then I pretend each of the ducks I shoot is a player on the Ducks team. Take that Getzlaf! Eat lead, Selanne! It keeps me entertained until I black out.”
With the Blackhawks and Ducks firmly entrenched in the top two spots in the Western conference, the Hawks’ final Duck Hunt could begin in the Western Conference Finals, which gives them nearly two more months of target practice.
