Tuesday, August 11, 2020

Betts’ new 12-year contract scheduled to end in 2028 due to apocalypse

Despite signing a massive $365 million 12-year contract extension with the Dodgers, Mookie Betts' deal will actually end in only eight years due to the impending global apocalypse that will take place in 2028.

Angels’ owner wishes he didn’t have to furlough anyone but ‘$3 billion just isn’t...

The Los Angeles Angels have reportedly been aggressively furloughing much of their staff according to multiple sources. Like many business owners, Angels’ owner, Arte Moreno feels horrible about it, but there is just nothing he can do.

Albert Pujols asks for help after he admits he doesn’t know how to run

Aging Angels slugger Albert Pujols has spent the quarantine going through some deep self-reflection and has come to terms with a tragic flaw: He never learned how to run.

LeBron only watched 1 of 2 Jordan doc episodes citing load management

Episodes 1 and 2 of “The Last Dance” premiered Sunday night, and while most watched both episodes and wanted more, some people couldn’t handle all the television.

Cubs trade Bryant’s newborn for Mike Trout’s baby to be named later

Shortly after Kris Bryant and his wife announced the birth of their first child, the Cubs traded the newborn boy to the Angels in exchange for Mike Trout’s son, whose arrival is due later this year.

The Heckler’s Second-Best Sports Town Tournament

With an unfortunate lack of viable competitions this March, we decided to unleash a tournament to determine the second-best sports town in America. We already know the winner (Chicago).

Mookie Betts to pursue bowling instead of joining Dodgers

The Dodgers’ blockbuster trade with the Red Sox for Mookie Betts and David Price has been mixed after Betts announced he would be perusing a new career in bowling.