Gronk gets adamantium arm implant, goes on rampage
The procedure itself went off without a hitch but when Gronkowski awoke, he was angry and confused. He easily ripped off his restraints and shouted "GRONK SMASH!" before bashing a hole in the secret "hospital" and storming off.
Boozer appears on ‘Sesame Street’ to teach meaning of the word ‘amnesty’
"Normally amnesty means granting freedom to a large group of individuals, but in the case of the NBA, it's what happens to an really, really overpaid player like me. You see, the team tells me 'bye bye,' but I still get paid. Crazy, right?"
Report: David Stern forced Derrick Rose to fake injury as unofficial suspension for gambling
"Rose's gambling had just gone out of control. He's a hyper-competitive guy, and that manifested itself with all-night poker games and off-days spent in casinos, but it really crossed a line when he started betting on games."
Kane’s response to Lady Byng nomination: ‘Is she hot?’
"Is this Lady Byng chick hot?" asked Kane. "I didn't already hook up with her or something, did I?"
Anthony Rizzo splurges on a Vespa
“Ever since I played for Italy in the World Baseball Classic and got rides to and from games and practices on the back of my teammates’ Vespas, I have been looking forward to the day where I could purchase my own," said Rizzo. "Thanks to the new contract, today is that wonderful day.”
No deal: Urlacher only leaning toward Minnesota because knees won’t bend any other way
"I tried leaning south, but I've completely lost the range of motion," Urlacher lamented, referring to his balky knees. "If someone could just pick me up and spin me, I'd be able to lean toward Denver or maybe even a team on the East Coast."
Cubs Week in Review: 4-2 versus good teams?!
The key to the team's success is obviously derived from starting pitchers able to scientifically harness beard power and apply toward ERA/WHIP and velocity.