Multiple reports have surfaced suggesting former Bears linebacker and future Hall of Famer Brian Urlacher is leaning toward the Minnesota Vikings. According to Urlacher, that’s only because his weathered knees won’t bend in any other direction.

“I tried leaning south, but I’ve completely lost the range of motion,” Urlacher lamented, referring to his balky knees. “The team isn’t even interested in me. If someone could just pick me up and spin me, I’d be able to lean toward Denver or maybe a suitor on the East Coast.”

Bears fans are just hoping their beloved linebacker doesn’t accidentally teeter toward Wisconsin and the hated Green Bay Packers.