MLB

"We'd like to thank Coors for their continued support of the Colorado Rockies, but with all due respect, we'd like our stadium to be sponsored by a local beer that doesn't taste like moldy rainwater," said Monfort. "Unfortunately the only local brewery with a sponsorship budget is Coors so we're going to have to get creative if we want our park named after a beer that doesn't suck."

"Hands down, I never should have used Alexei [Ramirez] as a bat earlier this season," said Dunn. "I was desperate and made a bad decision."

“There’s nothing like a good uniform to really excite me," said John Benson of Cleveland. "Sure, I could just Google a bunch of sports jerseys online for free, but the Uniform Edition is a classic. I remember when I was a kid at the barber and I first found out about this swimsuit magazine that had pictures of uniforms in it.”

“Every night, I see hundreds of ‘Resign Jose Reyes’ signs, ‘Please Resign Jose,'” said a distraught Reyes. “I play this game with pride, and if the fans don’t want me, I don’t want to stay here and make them angry.”

It turns out terrible play on the field might not have been the only reason Cubs fans were getting sick at Wrigley all season.

In the second inning of Detroit's 5-0 win, catcher Tyler Flowers swung so hard at a changeup from Verlander that he spun around quickly four times as the ball was crossing the plate.

With his team out of contention for the vast majority of the season, a bored Cubs fan working in Naperville checked the MLB standings for the first time since May 15, just to see how the other teams were doing.