Looking to change things up after a dismal 2011 campaign, the Rockies announced this week that they will be renaming Coors Field after “a beer that doesn’t suck” according to team officials.
“When you have a season like ours, you need to look at every aspect of your company,” said Rockies co-owner Dick Monfort. “And while the name of a stadium might be an insignificant factor, the other ways we could improve our team would cost lots of money that we don’t want to spend so we’ll just start with this.”
Monfort was quick to give a nod to Coors, who has served as a sponsor of the Rockies’ stadium since it opened in 1995.
“We’d like to thank Coors for their continued support of the Colorado Rockies, but with all due respect, we’d like our stadium to be sponsored by a local beer that doesn’t taste like moldy rainwater,” said Monfort. “Unfortunately the only local brewery with a sponsorship budget is Coors so we’re going to have to get creative if we want our park named after a beer that doesn’t suck.”
Monfort said he was committed to doing whatever he could to piece together enough money to make up for lost revenue by removing Coors from the stadium name. He is also considering taking on a unique approach to naming rights of the stadium.
“Colorado has a plethora of great microbrews, so we’re going to sell them micro-sponsorships,” said Monfort. “Instead of selling one brewery the whole stadium, each microbrew will get a row or two of seats somewhere in the stadium. Maybe a few rows in 239 are sponsored by Left Hand and New Belgium gets a couple rows in the upper deck.”