With his team out of contention for the vast majority of the season, a bored Cubs fan working in Naperville checked the MLB standings for the first time since May 15, just to see how the other teams were doing.

“Huh, look at that, looks like the Brewers are pretty good this year,” said the disinterested fan, who was so embarrassed by being a Cubs fan that he refused to give his name, while scrolling through the latest standings on mlb.com. “And the Diamondbacks? Really? Wow, that’s really surprising, I’d have thought the Giants would have been back in things again this year.”

The unnamed fan did find one mildly enjoyable surprise in the standings when he discovered that the Cubs were not in fact the worst team in the league.

“I always assumed they were in last place, because, well, you know, we’ve been awful,” he said. “But it looks like Houston was way worse than us this year. So that has to count for something, I guess?”

The fan told reporters he will continue to ignore the Cubs and Major League Baseball for the remainder of the year, but should be ready to eagerly follow the Cubs once Opening Day 2012 rolls around, at least until it becomes apparent the team will once again be awful.

Jeff GoodSmith