Sunday, December 10, 2023

McIlroy celebrates US Open win with drug-fueled porn star orgy

"At such a tender age, Rory plays the sort of golf that energizes our fan base like no one else since Tiger Woods," said PGA Director Tim Finchem. "Unfortunately Rory also shares Woods' penchant for off-the-course excesses. We've got to figure out a way to cover this up."

Tiger Woods returns to golf with pair of Hooters girls as caddies

"Look, I'm a complete horn-dog and I need to publicly embrace the type of lifestyle I clearly prefer," said Woods. "Cassie and Lizzie are terrible caddies, but they help me merge my two passions in life: golf and sordid sexual urges."

North Korean leader overcomes death, tops Tiger Woods in golf

Despite having been dead for six weeks, former North Korean leader Kim Jong Il made a triumphant return to the golf course on Monday and soundly beat Tiger Woods in a match played on Kim’s private course in North Korea.

Tebowing, Bradying, Pujolsing & 11 Other Fan Poses

From Tebowing to Bradying, fan poses have taken the Internet by storm. Here's a list of the other popular poses that will soon be taking the web by storm.

Depressed Mickelson considering career change after lousy U.S. Open performance

"I'm not so sure about this whole pro golfer-thing anymore," said Mickelson. "Sure, I've got a loving, beautiful family, millions of adoring fans, and a massive fortune, but golf just doesn't seem to be doing it for me right now."

Augusta National decides to allow women after realizing it’s no longer 1962

"It was a simple mistake really," said Club Chairman Billy Payne. "We've thought it was 1962 for the last 50 years because the damned calendar from that year in our clubhouse was never replaced. Simple mistake really."