After struggling to make the cut and eventually finishing 65th at this weekend’s U.S. Open, Phil Mickelson is reportedly depressed and considering a career change.

“I’m not so sure about this whole pro golfer-thing anymore,” said Mickelson. “Sure, I’ve got a loving, beautiful family, millions of adoring fans, and a massive fortune, but golf just doesn’t seem to be doing it for me right now.”

At 42, Mickelson believes now might be the perfect time for a change, and he’s already considering a few possible careers.

“I’ve kind of always wanted to be a plumber,” said Mickelson. “I’ve seen a few of then when they’re working on one of my eight houses and they always seem pretty content with their lot in in life.”

hecklerstaff