Augusta National Golf Club, the famed Georgia course that hosts the Masters, admitted its first two female members Monday after realizing the United States is no longer stuck in the shamefully oppressive year of 1962.

“It was a simple mistake really,” said Club Chairman Billy Payne. “We’ve thought it was 1962 for the last 50 years because the damned calendar from that year in our clubhouse was never replaced. Simple mistake really.”

Previously Augusta National required that all caddies be black but forbid players of the same race to be members until 1990. Payne cited a similar mishap for that.

“Once we realized it was no longer 1890,” said Payne, “we decided it was time to let blacks in to do something other than carry clubs and shine our shoes.”

 

hecklerstaff