We all know of the face that launched a thousand ships, now there is the man who launched a thousand pickups. Aaron Rodgers came out this week against deer hunting and has sparked a war never seen before in the hitching post known as downtown Green Bay.
With the comments, residents immediately took to arms and stationed themselves in various sections of the city. Fighting has been fierce all-around with the exception of during yard sale Saturday mornings where a demilitarized zone has been created.
Buck hunting sympathizers have taken their weapons and set up base at the local Wal-Mart. They are easily recognized by their pajama pants, Dale Earnhardt bumper stickers and handlebar mustaches.
They are opposed by Rodgers sympathizers who are running operations out of the Golden Corral and are led by former Packers TE and current general Mark Chmura.
Peace agreements currently seem unlikely until after hunting season this fall or until someone claims the Green Bay holy grail, Brett Favre’s Steakhouse.
“I never knew these two things meant so much to the people of Green Bay,” said Rodgers. “I better never talk about how much I hate women who wear scrunchies.”