Friday, March 29, 2024

Putin rescinds controversial gay propaganda laws after meeting Patrick Sharp

“We may have made a mistake,” said Putin. “What person would not want to grab this man by his face and kiss both cheeks more times than normal social etiquette would call for?”

Campana Convention 2014 organized by disillusioned fans of former Cubs speedster

“Tony is the future of baseball,” said convention organizer Evan Berman. “Running, sprinting, sliding -- all the tools are there. Our convention will celebrate his ability to be super-focused at the expense of literally everything else.”

Inspired by Jeter, Kane reveals slumpbuster goody bag

Kane revealed that his trip to Yankees shortstop's hometown inspired him to follow in Jeter's footsteps. He's now sending his one-night stands gift bags filled with team memorabilia.

Report: Tebow rebuffed 316 women on Sunday night

Tim Tebow could have had his pick of the litter after leading the Broncos to an improbable overtime victory over the Steelers. The Denver quarterback was propositioned by 316 different women after the game but the Christian quarterback politely declined each woman's advances.

‘Tim Tebow-Kim Kardashian sex scandal’-headline written just to try to break the Internet

Two media phenomenons collided today when a blogger posted a sexually suggestive headline about Tim Tebow and Kim Kardashian for no other reason than to drive traffic to his blog and hopefully break the Internet.

After tough loss, Gronkowski retires to focus on first love of nailing porn stars

Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski announced Monday he will be retiring from football immediately to focus on his first love of having sex with porn stars, which is how he reportedly spent his bye week after photos of him with 20-year-old porn star BiBi Jones were posted to Twitter last week.

Local woman relieved to learn Sharp’s emergency appendectomy didn’t leave scars on his face

"Oh my god. How's his face?" asked Jacquelyn Witkowski of Barrington, a self-described "jersey-chaser" who's never met Sharp or any of his teammates. "They didn't have to cut his face, did they?"