Mets

When RA Dickey wrote his bestselling autobiography "Wherever I Wind Up," not even he imagined that place would be the NHL. Starting this offseason, Dickey will work part time for the New York Islanders as the new “knucklepuck coach.”

Team names are fun, but they don't always accurately reflect a franchise's players and fans. Here at The Heckler, we've created a few alternate names and logos that are more descriptive of the teams they represent.

The company will now offer free stock in the New York Mets with the purchase of a large soda at retail price. McDonald's also said that it had at one point considered just placing stock on the Dollar Menu, but $1 per share was deemed to be far too expensive for part ownership in the Mets.

A month-long investigation by the NYPD into the mysterious ineptness of the New York Mets to win games since the All-Star break has finally come up fruitful as manager Terry Collins, general manager Sandy Alderson, and numerous members of the Mets' bullpen have been indicted for taking bribes to have the team lose nearly every game they play.

"Truthfully, I'm stunned right now and can't believe what my eyes are watching when Matt starts games for us," GM Sandy Alderson said after Wednesday's win over Philly.

Mets overpaid, underproductive, terrible, and Canadian outfielder Jason Bay retired from the sport of baseball today after going on an unprecedented hot streak of three hits in his last five at-bats, including a grand slam.

The Chipper Jones retirement tour rolls into Citi Field this week, and the Mets plan to honor the future Hall of Famer with his biggest gift yet: partial ownership in the Mets franchise.