Wednesday, January 27, 2021

Bears among teams trying to get Belichick’s dog for their front office

Bill Belichick's draft room setup drew attention around the NFL Friday evening, when his dog, Nike, was seen manning (or rather, dogging) the dual-screen laptops prior to the Patriots' first pick in the 2020 draft.

Rex Ryan names 2006 version of Rex Grossman Jets’ Week 6 starter

“Look guys, it’s really simple," said Ryan. "My Dad coached the Bears. They had a good defense and we have a good defense. Rex played for the Bears and almost beat Peyton Manning in the Super Bowl. 2006 Grossman is due. Plus, his name is Rex, and my name is also Rex.”

Jets wake up from dream, realize they’re actually 2-7, not 5-4

"This is bulls*@$!," Rex said groggily to the unnamed writer. "We're 5-4, I know it! No way they can fire me if we're 5-4, right? Let's go get a goddamn snack!"

Concussions and ACL injuries force NFL tacklers to focus on the balls

"Shots to the knees shorten careers while headhunting leads to long-term CTE issues," said NFLPA executive director DeMaurice Smith. "But your testicles? What's the worst that can happen, low sperm count?"

Jets’ dream of undefeated season ends a week later than everyone thought it would

"It's hard for me to fathom that the lowly Jets won any games this season, let alone their first one against a slightly better than average Tampa Bay team," said ESPN football analyst John Clayton. "We all thought they'd go 0-16 this year."

Winner of fantasy football league to run the Jets next season

"This will give the league a ton of exposure," said Vinnie Andruzzi, commissioner of the Rex Ryan Puts The "Foot" In Football League. "Maybe we can have our draft televised on Fox Sports 1 to help it get better ratings."

Tebow joins with Lochte to create reality TV dream team

Tim Tebow has just been cut from the Jets and his agent's phone has been ringing off the hook ever since. But it is not NFL teams that are calling to recruit the controversial quarterback. It is reality television producers calling to pitch show ideas to the failed football star. Some ideas coming from some not so regular reality outlets.