Bill Belichick’s draft room setup drew attention around the NFL Friday evening, when his dog, Nike, was seen manning (or rather, dogging) the dual-screen laptops prior to the Patriots’ first pick in the 2020 draft.
Belichick, known for getting something out of nothing on draft night, has since been shopping his dog around the league like a retired tight end.
Chicago, Jacksonville, and both New York teams are reportedly looking to shake up their front offices this off-season by showing interest in Nike Belichick’s pedigree.
“He’s got loyalty, likeability, and a good rapport with the media,” said Bears GM Ryan Pace. “These are all things we’re looking for in our front office.”
When asked whether he would have a difficult time adapting to new ownership, Nike indicated that the leashed he could do was sit, stay, and listen to what teams had to say.
“In this league, anything is pawsible,” said Giants owner John Mara. “In Nike, you see a potential addition to your staff that’s been the best friend of a man with 8 Super Bowl rings. A team who has had a ruff couple of seasons would be foolish not to interview him.”
NFL rules don’t stipulate that a dog can’t be traded. When asked for comment, Roger Goodell said this isn’t the first time Belichick has tried to trade a family member.
“In 2007, when the Pats acquired Randy Moss from the Raiders, I had to call the Raiders to convince them to at least get a second-round pick for one of the best wide receivers of the all time,” said Goodell. “The original trade was for Bill’s ‘lucky goldfish’ which was a carnival prize that Bill convinced the Raiders was a good luck charm.”
Whether Nike Belichick becomes the latest beloved New Englander to be traded this offseason remains to be seen, but regardless, the 2020 offseason has been trans-fur-mative for the team. After saying goodbye to two of the league’s best offensive threats in Tom Brady and Rob Gronkiwski, analysts expect that Nike Belichick won’t leave New England for anything short of a starting wide-retriever or quarterbark.
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