Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Johnny Weir added to NBC announcers for Stanley Cup Final

"Super excited!" said an exuberant Weir. "This is LA vs New York, East vs. West, Broadway vs Hollywood. The only disappointment is the Blackhawks aren't involved. To me they have the best outfits. Of course Henrik Lundqvist is here. There's a man that's put together. It's a shame he has to wear that mask for three hours."

James Dolan thrilled ‘Steve’ Nash is coming to New York

“We find it best to just let him think what he wants to think,” said an anonymous employee of Dolan’s. “It’s like his ears have a Knicks filter. Everything is about the Knicks. Eventually he’ll realize this was a hockey move, but for now, we’ll let him be.”

Gray playoff beard gets Tortorella gig as new ‘Just For Men’ pitchman

His beard is weird, his stash is trash ... but he doesn’t care, because John Tortorella’s graying playoff beard has landed him a lucrative endorsement deal.

Inspired by Jeter, Kane reveals slumpbuster goody bag

Kane revealed that his trip to Yankees shortstop's hometown inspired him to follow in Jeter's footsteps. He's now sending his one-night stands gift bags filled with team memorabilia.

Heckler Image: Coach Q threatens to make ultimate sacrifice unless Hawks win tonight

Coach Joel Quenneville threatened to make "the ultimate sacrifice" unless his ice-cold Chicago Blackhawks are somehow able to beat the high-flying New York Rangers at Madison Square Garden tonight.

Marian Gaborik detained at Canadian border after sniper goal celebration

The Rangers’ Marian Gaborik has been called a “sniper” in the past, but never in the literal sense – that is until Canadian police arrested the All-Star for suspicious behavior Monday morning.

Tortorella apologizes to refs for the league’s attempt to fix Winter Classic

Rangers coach John Tortorella received news Wednesday that he was fined $30,000 for his negative comments aimed at the officiating crew of Monday’s Winter Classic. In response, he offered a back-handed apology.