The Chipper Jones retirement tour rolls into Citi Field this week, and the Mets plan to honor the future Hall of Famer with his biggest gift yet:  partial ownership in the Mets franchise.

“Chipper Jones made a career out of ‘owning’ the Mets,” said Fred Wilpon. “Why not make it official?”

National League teams have showered Jones with mementos all season long in celebration of his brilliant career. Many wondered if the Mets, a team Chipper enjoyed his most success against, would join the party and honor the Braves’ star third baseman.

“Of course we will. Ya know, the Astros gave him a cowboy hat … a friggin’ cowboy hat,” repeated GM Sandy Alderson disgustedly. “Show a little respect for the man, he’s one of the five best switch hitters in baseball history.”

Alderson and the Wilpons plan to present Jones with a framed certificate entitling him to .005% ownership in the New York Mets during a pregame ceremony on September 9th.

“It’s humbling,” admitted Chipper. “Here I thought they hated me. I never expected to play there, and you better believe I never expected to own the team.”

While the gift may seem extravagant, it’s really not, as .005% ownership in the Mets consists of free access to games against “lesser” opponents, a voucher for a free Bubba Burger, and unlimited personal use of Mr. Met. He will have no say in the organization.

“Screw Larry,” said Mets fan, Donnie R. DeChicco. “This is just another Wilpon stunt. They think I’m gonna hate an owner worse than them? Marone, they got another thing coming.”