Breaking!

Tim Tebow is already taking over the NFL, but now it appears he's trying to take over for Jay Cutler as the main squeeze of Kristin Cavallari. The two were seen out and about in downtown Denver Tuesday afternoon much to the surprise of anyone who follows any of the young celebrities involved.

Carl Weathers, master thespian and former Oakland Raider, watches every NFL game from his man cave to compile his weekly Power Rankings. Mr. Weathers, despite playing only 8 NFL games, was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1980.

“Young Mr. Darby has learned plenty from this lockout,” said Robert Barry, the principal at Collins’ school. “He has asked if we have an exchange program with Europe, what percentage of the school’s ‘revenue’ is given back to students and if the kickball league has a salary cap."

"The other night we were out at a bar and she started going on and on about how Stalberg is her favorite player ever, which was new to me because I thought she resented Darrell for how much he loved hockey," said one friend of the couple."She said she met Stalberg at a fan fest Darrell dragged her to and found him really interesting."

"Yes, Montee Ball's 38 touchdowns this season is very impressive," said ESPN's Kirk Herbstreit. "But Ball had nearly 300 touches this season. That's 240 times he didn't score. People need to remember that."

Two media phenomenons collided today when a blogger posted a sexually suggestive headline about Tim Tebow and Kim Kardashian for no other reason than to drive traffic to his blog and hopefully break the Internet.

Inspired by the Green Bay Packers' sale of $80 million of worthless stock to its eager fan base, The Heckler is following suit! For just $25 you can own* a piece of The Heckler. Unlike Packers stock, ours comes with a handy self-adhesive backing that makes putting it up on your office wall a breeze! Don't bother picking up a $5 frame at Fleet Farm that's needed to hang your Packers stock!