Paxson holds press conference to remind fans he’s still with Bulls
"There have been several reports that I’ve gone missing,” the longtime NBA sharpshooter said from the Berto Center. “When the Chicago Police Department did a well-being check on me and after my wife, while grocery shopping, saw my picture on a milk carton, I thought it was about time I say something.”
Derrick Rose will consult psychic on return to court
Amid reports that Bulls management and the Rose camp are at odds about if and when the 2010-2011 league MVP would play for the team in 2013, Rose tweeted that he would “cast fate to the wind and let Miss Cleo handle my business.”
New Catholic Conference mistakenly adds College of Cardinals as member
The mistake is being blamed on a 25-year-old representative for the conference, who saw stories online about the selection of the new Pope. Incorrectly believing the gathering of several hundred Cardinals was an actual university, he included them in the the conference.
Blackhawks to play split-squad games the rest of the season
"We're excited," said goalie Corey Crawford, who still hasn't found out which team he will be on. "I just wish one of us was in the Eastern Conference so we could meet for the Stanley Cup."
Joel Quenneville’s mustache elected Pope
In an announcement that has sent shock waves through the world's Catholic community, the Papal conclave in the Vatican has announced that the new Bishop of Rome will be none other than the mustache of Chicago Blackhawks head coach, Joel Quenneville.
Yankees unveil souvenir arm and leg casts ahead of injury-plagued season
"These are the same casts that 10 or 15 Yankees will probably have to wear this season," said Yankees GM Brian Cashman. "For the low price of $34.99, you can experience 2013 just like a player on the field."
Cubs to honor Hawks streak by losing 24 straight games to start season
"The Blackhawks have become synonymous with winning in this town, so that mantle is taken," said Cubs president Theo Epstein. "But losing? We own that. And that's how we plan to make history."
