Responding to several AMBER alerts and at least one missing persons inquiry, Chicago Bulls Executive Vice President of Basketball Operations John Paxson held a press conference to remind fans and media that he is still with the team.

“There have been several reports that I’ve gone missing,” the longtime NBA sharpshooter said from the Berto Center. “When the Chicago Police Department did a well-being check on me and after my wife, while grocery shopping, saw my picture on a milk carton, I thought it was about time I say something.”

When asked why he hasn’t been as visible this season as he was in past years, Paxson responded, “If you replaced Derrick Rose with Nate Robinson, Nazr Mohammed and Vladimir Radmanovic, you’d be invisible too.”