Thursday, July 10, 2025

Marlins fan falls asleep while diving for home run ball

After a home run off the bat of Justin Ruggiano flew halfway into the second deck, Florida resident Andy Kelley reached most of the length of two full seats to intercept the ball as it bounced by, but fell asleep in the middle of the effort.

Hawks fans surprised team has not yet won Stanley Cup

"What do you mean there are more games?" asked long-time Hawks fan, Doug Jameson, who was watching the game from Cunneen's bar in Rogers Park. "They just beat Detroit in seven, man. What else do they [NHL] freakin' want?"

Adrian Peterson adds Vikings, taxes to list of things he doesn’t believe in

“Vikings? Really? I mean, you ever seen a guy with horns on his head?” said Peterson. “Seems crazy to me. Don’t believe in it. And taxes. Taxes, too. But that’s because it’s against my religious beliefs, or something.”

Bulls trainer wins NBA award, announces one-year sabbatical in 3D printing

“I’m off to learn 3D printing," said Tedeschi. “Then I can just print out new players when anyone on the team gets hurt.”

Hawk Harrelson blames umps for low attendance at US Cellular Field

White Sox broadcaster Ken "Hawk" Harrelson is known as a bit of a homer during his team's telecasts and sometimes yelling at the umpires on close plays. Now he's blaming the umpires somehow for a long-standing tradition on the South Side: the low attendance at US Cellular.

Blackhawks revitalized after team swim in Detroit River

Vowing to acquit themselves after losing three of five playoff games to the Red Wings and fighting to stay alive in the series, the Blackhawks organized a team swim in the Detroit River prior to Game 6 in the Motor City, which many are crediting with their resurgence in Monday night's thrilling 4-3 win.

Guy who hated Corey Crawford last week wants to have his babies now

"Craw had such an awesome run this weekend," said Teal, who only days ago was calling for Ray Emery to not only replace Crawford but to assassinate him. "Between Saturday at the United Center and Monday at the Joe, I've really come around on him. He's the best goalie on the planet!"