Mercy!

White Sox broadcaster Ken “Hawk” Harrelson is known as a bit of a homer during his team’s telecasts and sometimes yelling at the umpires on close plays. Now he’s blaming the umpires somehow for a long-standing tradition on the South Side: the low attendance at US Cellular.

“Dagummit, these heinie birds do their darnedest to get under my skin,” Harrelson said. “I know they’re against the ‘Good Guys,’ now they’re keeping our fans away from the park. That may sound like a ‘stretch’ but it’s darn true. Oh sure, the team asked our fans why they don’t come and the team listened by lowering ticket and parking prices, but doggone it, those men in blue have to have the last word. And why are they called ‘Men In Blue’? Those are Cubs colors!”

When asked to elaborate, Harrelson said he couldn’t because he had to do research on his nightly speech on his playing days in Boston with Yaz. Steve Stone, Harrelson’s broadcast partner after hearing of Hawk’s claims, muttered,”And I thought Harry was delusional.”

Mariotti Jr.