After winning the NBA athletic trainer of the year award, Bulls trainer Fred Tedeschi has announced a one-year leave from the team.
“I’m off to learn 3D printing,” said Tedeschi. “Then I can just print out new players when anyone on the team gets hurt.”
Said Tedeschi, “I am so sick of hurt players. Pun intended. I’m done treating plantar fasciitis and misdiagnosed meningitis. No more Hinrich maneuvers or broken legs. And don’t even get me started on Derrick.”
“At 3D printing school I will learn how to print out all the MJs and Scotties that we need. It will be great for the salary cap and much less work for me. But I will not be printing any BJ Armstrongs. We have enough of the real one around here as it is.”
Reached on her current world tour, blues singer Susan Tedeschi had no comment.