Sunday, June 26, 2022

Loco Rob Column: Here’s a digit for this park’s name

The name of the Mets spring training ballpark in Port St. Lucie is Digital Domain Park. You probably can’t believe it. Yes, without a doubt, it is the stupidest name in the history of anything that ever had a name. The only aspect of the name that makes sense is the part that ends in Park. Actually, the Mets should do the honorable thing and give two-thirds the money back to Digital Domain and just call the place “Park.”

After inking deal with Quaker Oats, Chicago Fire promise to ‘stay consistent’ this season

"We are proud to bring Quaker Oats onto the field with us this season," said Coach Frank Klopas. "Their oatmeal makes sure we don't bring any more crap onto the field than we have to."

To save money, Mets will use just two outfielders at a time next season

"I love the move and think it will save our owners, the Wilpons, a significant amount of money, which they need for the settlement from the Madoff fiasco," manager Terry Collins said Saturday. "Of course we won't be very good record-wise but that's not my problem. I'm just here to put on a happy face."

Stern locked out of own bathroom; wife says he ‘takes too long getting ready...

"I am deeply saddened that my wife Dianne would betray me like this," said Stern in a somber mood at the NBA league offices in New York. "Since we have been married, I have never done anything to prevent you from getting the bathroom time you need, and you do this to me?"

Biggest Cubs news of season once again happens off the field

As Cubs fans celebrate the likely hiring of Theo Epstein as GM, it's yet another instance of the team's biggest news happening off the field. In the long and mostly forgettable history of the Cubs, most of the team's big news has occurred off the field. Here's a glimpse.

Fickle is Einhorn as Mets and $200 million investor part ways

“Mr. Einhorn wanted the option to eventually buy the entire team,” said a lawyer close to the proceedings. “It’s like buying the back seat of a car and never being able to drive it. Where’s the gain in that?”

Boorish Score broadcaster Dan Bernstein bolts to start SmartySports.com

“Let’s face it,” said Bernstein. “I am so much smarter than everyone that calls in and is employed by the station. I went to Duke for God's sake. How many times can you listen to knuckle scraping fans cry about Greg Walker or chortle 'Da Bears' before your brain shrinks to the size of a fig?”