Sport

ESPN has told NFL analyst Michael Irvin that they will no longer need his services. Irvin, who worked for ESPN since 2003, didn't seem too disappointed in the network's choice. The former Dallas Cowboy mourned the decision with a three-day binge that included drugs, sex and more drugs, which was the same way he celebrated getting the job three years ago.

New Cubs outfielder Alfonso Soriano's mood turned from jovial to sour yesterday when his first paycheck from the team bounced at a local Fifth Third Bank. The check, filled out for a hefty $325,000, was returned due to insufficient funds in the Tribune bank account.

When NBA commissioner David Stern announced the 2007 NBA All-Star Game would be held in Las Vegas, players around the league let out a collective, "Hell yeah!"

Las Vegas is a bad place for Michael Jordan. His infamous gambling problems make him a sleaze-magnet every time he sets foot in the city. When he showed up to judge the NBA's Dunk Contest Saturday night wearing a black leather suit, Jordan looked like a member of the Gambino crime family. His performance confirmed he checked whatever scruples he had left at the Vegas city limit.

Well Bulls fans, it's that time of year again. With the first half of the 2007 Bulls season in the books, we here at The Heckler wish to take a minute to look back on the highs and lows of the first half, and prepare ourselves for the grueling conclusion of the season. So feign some interest and let's examine what went right and what went oh-so-wrong with the Bulls.

Couldn't keep up with the ticker during the clip? Here it is.

Everyone is scared of something. Heights, spiders, hard work, commitment, mutant robots, water, carnies, progress, Alan Thicke-there is something that cuts to everyone's very core. Apparently the Bulls' biggest fear is the unnatural phenomenon that is Adam Morrison's mustache.