Well Bulls fans, it’s that time of year again. With the first half of the 2007 Bulls season in the books, we here at The Heckler wish to take a minute to look back on the highs and lows of the first half, and prepare ourselves for the grueling conclusion of the season. So feign some interest and let’s examine what went right and what went oh-so-wrong with the Bulls.
2007 First Half Vital Stats

Overall record: 29-25

Record at home: 20-7

Record on the road: 9-18

Conference record: 20-10

Currently the 6 seed in the Eastern Conference
Biggest win

96-85 vs. Dallas Mavericks on Jan. 25


Why it was so sweet

Not only did the Bulls beat the NBA-leading Mavericks, they played tough defense against one of the NBA’s best offensive units, holding them to 31 percent from the field. With this win, the Bulls put a stop to an eight-game Mavs winning streak and gave Bulls fans hope for life past the first round of the playoffs.
Why it didn’t mean squat

The Mavs only had nine losses during the first half of the season. The Bulls, however, only had nine road wins during the first half of the season. Not to mention this game was played during that magical time between the NFC Championship and the Super Bowl, so no one in Chicago actually noticed or remembered this win anyway.

Worst loss

Pick one, they were all bad.  But for this article’s sake we’ll go with the loss against the 100-85 loss vs. Charlotte Bobcats on Feb.14
Why it sucked so much

Could there have been a worse way to end the first half? Maybe if the Bulls would’ve gotten beaten by Athletes in Action? That probably would’ve been worse. But even the most passive fan could see there was no heart, no drive and no desire from the Bulls to finish strong-a recurring theme that has frustrated fans throughout the first half.
Why it didn’t mean squat

Yeah, nice try. There’s no high ground here. This loss couldn’t have come at a worse time, to a worse team or showcased a more terrible effort by a complacent Bulls team.
First Half MVP

Ben Gordon, G
21.2 PPG, 3.6 APG, .388 3P%
Why he’s been so good

Making the transition to a regular starter has been good to Gordon, leading the Bulls in points per game. And aside from being a leader on the court and taking charge late in games, he’s also quite good with children and elderly folk. Fun fact: He hails from London. That’s in England. Neat!

Why he’s kinda sucked

Gordon put up two would-be game-winning airballs in three games. Come on, Ben. Airballs?

First Half LVP

PJ Brown, FC
5.7 PPG,  4.7 RPG,0.7 BPG
Why he’s been so bad

There are position players and then there are loaves of bread. Brown has been more of the latter throughout the first half. From spreading rumors of his own trade to the local media, to his lowly output on the court, Brown hasn’t lived up to the already limited hype since he was acquired from the Hornets for Tyson Chandler last year.
Why he’s been pretty good

He had a sensational game against the Mavericks on Jan. 25 and has a mustache.

Overheard in the first half

“I got a nice little rhythm and just kept shooting. I’ll treasure this. I don’t know if I’ll have another one like this the rest of the year.”

–An actual quote from Bulls forward PJ Brown about his play against the Mavericks. Needless to say, he’s kept his word.

“[Expletive deleted] of [expletive deleted] with a [expletive deleted] and mini-blinds,” Skiles said. “I [expletive deleted] with [expletive deleted] Richard Simmons and [expletive deleted] a Chuck Norris roundhouse to the face.”

–Coach Scott Skiles in response to several consecutive bad calls by officials during Feb. 13’s game against the Toronto Raptors. Admit it: You love seeing Richard Simmons’ name in print and wish you could see more of it.

“I bet you 20 bucks you can’t eat 10 corndogs!”

–An unidentified fan sitting behind the Bulls’ bench to forward Andres Nocioni while he was sat out due to plantar fasciitis. Nocioni proceeded to eat 12 corndogs, collect $20 from the fan and vomit four times.

2007 First Half Report Card

Offense: C

Defense: B-


Fan attendance: A+

Overall Record: B

Home Record: A

Road Record: [Expletive deleted]

Ability to finish games: [Double expletive deleted]


2007 First Half Self Evaluation by Kirk Hinrich

Name: Kirk Hinrich

Playing basketball makes me feel: Happy

Playing offense makes me feel: Rad

Playing defense makes me feel: Bored

Dribbling makes me feel: (Smiles)

Passing makes me feel: (Frowns)

Winning makes me feel: Cool

Losing makes me feel: Poopy!

Corndogs make me feel: Awesome!

Playing on the road makes me feel: Yucky

heckler editorial staff